Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Serotonin Boosters, Cider, And Some Kind Of Smelling Salts

I have a follow up appointment with my GP tomorrow. I did not take any more of the Seroquel. I just can't be that zonked out at night and feel so crappy the day. I'm tired enough as it is. I do think I'm going to talk to her about Wellbutrin, though. It's another SNRI, which is what I need, since I'm allergic to SSRIs. Maybe it will help when I start to really slide into a big depressive episode.

I've been feeling a bit better. I don't understand how this depression shit works. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it. Stress does definitely play a part, but I'm under the same amount of stress as I was a month or so ago, when this all started, but I'm not nearly as down as I was. I haven't cried in days, even though every day has been filled with frustration and worry about money. And I got laid off last Monday, and while I did have a little bit of a weep about that, it didn't send me into a tailspin. It pissed me off, more than anything.

If I could just figure out what triggers these episodes, I might be able to figure out how to head them off. It would be nice to not be blindsided by this crap. I don't really enjoy having to lie in bed, sorting thru my brain, in order to figure out whether or not I'm going to be able to face the day.

This song helps. And it makes me smile, which is never a bad thing.

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