I had an interesting discussion with my therapist today. I told her how I had felt on Saturday, being home, alone, all day, after hearing about plans my other friends had made where I wasn't included. I don't think I was excluded for any particular reason; I think most of them think I don't have time to do things during the day, so they just didn't think to ask. At least, that's what I'm telling myself, because if I go down the alternate path, nothing good will come of it.
My therapist is under the impression that I don't need alone time so much as I need other-adult time. She's probably right. I get to see friends sometimes on a Friday night, but more often than not, it's just me and the kid and when she's gone to her dad's for the weekend, I don't really know what to do with myself.
Yesterday, I went to IKEA and it was fun. I got out of the house and got to shop for things I need (new dresser) and things I want (kitchen stuff) and just browse thru things I'd like to have some day. It would have been more fun if I'd gone with someone, but it was a last minute thing. Still. It was nice.
Now I just need to make sure I let my friends know when I don't have any plans on the weekends. Maybe it will keep me from spiraling into the self-loathing monologue so frequently.