Saturday, October 5, 2013

The Voice In My Head When I Talk To Myself

It's meaner than any real voice I've ever heard. It calls me names.
You're fat.
You're ugly.
You're stupid.
The only person who loves you is your 7 year-old and that's only because she's too young to realize what a complete and utter failure you are as a human being.
You're fat.
You can't do anything right.
You're never going to find a job.
You're too dumb to get the jobs you're looking for.
You're fat.
You should just get a job as a cashier, that's all you're good for.
You're screwing up your kid.
Your life is a failure.
You're a fat cow.
You will never get ahead.
You will always be broke and broken and no one in their right mind will ever want to be with you.
Your friends don't really like you, they just put up with you.
No one likes you because you're fat and ugly and stupid.

I hate that fucking voice. It never stops. Sometimes it's quieter than other times, but it's always there, always waiting for me to slip into the slightest funk so it can start in on me again. It's me, it's who I am, and I hate it. 

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