I think I may be surfacing from my latest bout with depression.
Being in the midst of depressions sucks, but it's almost scarier when you're starting to come thru to the other side because you can feel the darkness reaching out for you, wanting to pull you back under, and sometimes that pull is kind of seductive. Sometimes I would like to just fall back into it and never get out of bed again. This teetering on the edge, waiting to fall on one side or the other, is way too precarious for me. It makes me feel kind of fragile and shaky and I don't like it at all.
I wish I could just make the depression go away for good. I hate it so much.